Reason No. 1: He Recognizes My Need To Party
Lately I've been feeling like we (aka me) need to get some of our (my) wildness out before the baby comes and we can't do things like go grocery shopping at 11 pm any more. The past couple of nights when Jeff has suggested getting ready for bed, I proposed that we stay up and "party." (I'm not quite sure what I mean by this. Probably going to Steak-N-Shake and/or watching a movie until 3 am.)
Monday night Jeff responded with, "Amy. I am not Katherine. This is not summer oh eight. I have to get up for work in the morning." To which I replied with a selfish, but apparently convincing argument about how I need to "party" before the baby comes and turns all of the parties into feeding/diaper changing sessions and how I'm only 22 and I just need to live. Jeff's solution was to "party" the night before his next day off. Does Jeff really want to party? Probably not. He would probably prefer sleeping all that he can since he always has to get up in the morning and work all day. But he's willing to sacrifice sleep so that I can have one last hurrah.
Reason No. 2: He Lets Sleeping Amys Lie
Another thing related to sleep. Jeff has to get up for work every morning. He usually doesn't have to get up too terribly early, but he always lets me continue sleeping. He doesn't expect me to get up and make breakfast for him and spend time with him before he leaves. It's not like I even have anything that I have to do during the day. Getting up with him would really not be a big deal. But he always lets me stay snuggled up and quietly gives me a kiss on the forehead and whispers "I love you" before he leaves.
Reason No. 3: He Loves His Friends and Family
Jeff is so good about keeping in contact with those he cares about even if they don't reciprocate it. I think I have actually been a bad influence on him and been all, "Why do you try so hard to talk to _____? When's the last time they called you?" He is not one of those people who is all "Well if they're not going to talk to me, I'm not going to talk to them." Jeff is so much more mature than me and realizes that if everyone had that attitude then no one would talk to anyone, and there are some relationships that are worth the extra effort. He cares so much for his family and friends even if they sometimes overlook him.
Reason No. 4: He Supports My Sweet Tooth
When we're waiting in line at Wal-Mart, my eyes always wander to the bountiful selection of candy bars to my left. Jeff notices my longing stare and says, "Do you wanna get a treat?" To which I reply by picking up a Hershey's Cookies and Cream to satisfy my sweet tooth and latest pregnancy craving. Does our recent graduate budget really support dropping 79 cents just so I can have a treat? Not really. But he knows how much I love treats. He also agreed that we could go out for dessert (instead of dinner) some time. But only if I invited him on Facebook.
Reason No. 5: He Makes Sure I Get To Bed
Uhh...this is about sleep, too.
In first grade I had pajamas that said "I Am a Bear in the Mornings" and had an illustration of a disgruntled bear on the shirt. If I'm a bear in the mornings, I'm a flesh-eating dragon monster when I'm woken up after I fall asleep on the couch.
Nights when I fall asleep on the couch usually go something like this:
Jeff: (In a soft, calm voice) Amy Doll. Wake up. It's time to get ready for bed.
Amy: (While breathing fire) NOOOO. I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED. I JUST WANT TO STAY HERE.
Jeff: (Still calm, but singed) Amy Doll, if I leave you here you'll wake up in the middle of the night and be scared because you're on the couch by yourself.
Amy: NOOO. I WANT TO SLEEP ON MY COUCH. I LOVE MY COUCH. IT'S MY COUCH AND I WANT TO STAY HERE.
Jeff: Okay. I'll get you a blanket.
Amy: (Starting to cry) NOO. DON'T LEAVE ME. YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME. I NEED YOU HERE WITH ME.
Jeff: (Still calm) Amy Doll, there's not room for both of us on the couch. Let's just get you up and into bed, okay?
Amy: BUT I LOVE MY COUCH. IT'S THE BEST COUCH IN THE WORLD.
Jeff: I know, but let's just get you to bed.
Amy: (Crying) Okaaaay...I just love my couch and don't want to leave it.
Jeff: (Trying not to laugh) I know.
This was just a generic synopsis. Some nights I go off on rants about completely ridiculous things that I never remember in the mornings. For obvious reasons we're trying to avoid putting me in situations where I would be prone to fall asleep before I'm in my bed.
Reason No. 6: Jeff+Jason=BFF
My younger brother Jason and Jeff are seriously BFF. Jeff has never really treated Jason like he was different. He doesn't ignore him like some people do around people with special needs. He doesn't overstate his autism like I sometimes do. He just treats him like a friend. When I would pick up Jason from adult day care, Jason was visibly more excited when Jeff was with me. For Jason, Jeff means spin jumps, stretching, treats, and the same dinner every one else is having with a couple substitutions to make it gluten free. Jeff and Jason just like to hang out together. Jeff checking sports on his iPhone and Jason watching Barney.
Reason No. 7: He Supports My Cooking Endeavors
Jeff is food's all time biggest fan, and we all know that I am not that handy in the kitchen. Still Jeff encourages me in my quest to be culinary literate by overstating the deliciousness of my meals. "Mmm...Amy Doll! This mac and cheese is great!" "Boy, Amy Doll. You sure do know how to make a grilled cheese." P.S. Jeff is always willing to make dinner even if he has had a very busy day and I really haven't but just don't feel like making dinner.
Reason No. 8: He is Not a Fair Weather FriendWhen I've been at my darkest, Jeff has shown me nothing but patience and love. Our first year of marriage was really hard because I was really depressed/anxious for a lot of it. There were probably more nights that ended in me having a meltdown than us peacefully falling to sleep. There are not a lot of people who would be willing to deal with that. There are even fewer people who would have been able to deal with it as well as he did.
Reason No. 9: He Thinks the Best of Me
There are few others who exemplify the quote "Think the best of each other, especially of those you say you love. Assume the good and doubt the bad." (Jeffrey R. Holland) as well as Jeff. One time when I was upset with him and was being nasty, he said, "Amy, don't you think I'd stick up for you? For our family? Don't you know that you're my number one priority?" I was instantly flooded with humility. Because I did know that. But in a moment of utter selfishness I had forgotten.
Reason No. 10: He Really Loves Me
He tells me he loves me and by his actions I know that he means it. Not only when he is charitable or romantic, but when he is encouraging me to be my best self. Long before I met Jeff I read the quote “One good yardstick as to whether a person might be the right one for you is this: in her presence, do you think your noblest thoughts, do you aspire to your finest deeds, do you wish you were better than you are?” (Ezra Taft Benson) and took it heart. Jeff loves me for who I am, but knows I can be better.