Christina's World by Andrew Wyeth
I'm not what you would call a writer. I mean, I write. Everyone writes. But I'm not poetic or eloquent or anything, and that is fine. Mostly I try to be straightforward and sincere. And kind. If there is anything I have learned from my nine years of blogging my emotions, it is to be kind. I haven't always been, and I won't always be because I am human, but I am trying hard to be that now.
There are people who think you shouldn't share anything on the Internet that isn't pretty. But not too pretty. Heaven forbid you talk about how much you love your children or your significant other. They think that thoughts and feelings should be kept to oneself, and that most people just share too much. That is fine. Everyone is entitled to their own views.
But I want to tell you why I write about heavy things.
I started writing about heavy things so that I wouldn't break into a million pieces. When I first started doing it, it was often at the cost of other people's emotions. I just felt so awful that I had to share with someone. It was a matter of survival. Unfortunately I was a teenager at the time and wasn't very tactful. (Unfortunately as a young adult I haven't been very tactful at times, either.)
Then one day I was reading a post by an acquaintance. It was about heavy things. Not typical teenager heavy things like not having a boyfriend or not getting the right shoes for prom, but about ageless heavy things like having a family member with a mental illness.
And that is when I knew that I wasn't alone. Even though we never talked to each other about heavy things and even though the only support we offered each other was a blog comment, I felt great comfort in knowing someone's heart felt like mine did.
So I write about heavy things because sometimes it helps me, but mostly because if there is a chance I could help someone like my acquaintance helped me, even if I risk sounding whiny or dramatic or conceited, I will take it.
I am very much a realist and acknowledge both the bountiful beauties of this life as well as the sorrows and heartbreaks. I believe all emotions are valid and need to be addressed, but not necessarily dwelt upon.
To those of you who have expressed, or even hinted at, heavy things, thank you. If you are feeling heavy things, but simply can not let them out, take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.
In the quiet heart is hidden sorrow that the eye can't see.