22 June 2011
When things that are fake feel really real.
When I really love a book, I read it whenever I have downtime and basically become totally absorbed in it. The negatives to this are that I finish the book faster than I'd like and I start thinking like the author writes.
Does this happen to anyone else?
Example: I just finished reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. Its narrator is a boy with semi-mild autism who is accused of killing his neighbor's dog. So he sets out to find the real dog killer and in the meantime discovers a lot of truths about his parents' failed marriage.
The book is really great and I can relate to the narrator because my brother is autistic (although after reading it I feel like I might have some autistic tendencies as well) and because my parents are divorced. But I've found myself thinking like Christopher John Francis Boone which is weird because his mind kind of works like a computer and I'm not very good at math.
I am not Christopher, but I am finding myself thinking a lot like he does.
Also, since I started taking meds my dreams have been a lot more vivid.
A couple of nights ago I had the scariest dream I have had since I was 6. I had a dream that my younger brother Jason was dead. His death was an accident, something involving falling onto a drinking glass (?). I was so, so sad in the dream and ran around looking for any picture of him that was available.
Then I woke up totally freaked out and started crying. I had to text my mom to ask if Jason was okay. I didn't hear back from her right away so I tried to nonchalantly ask my sister if everything was going well back in Indiana. They told me everything was fine (my sister was kind of bored, though).
Even though I was reassured all was well back in the great Hoosier state, I felt sad and worried all day to the point where I didn't leave the house.
Sometimes feelings are just too overwhelming.